Monday, January 1, 2018

Kitchen Make over Stage One

I haven't been around for a long time but I am going to try to change that.  2018 is in the plans to be the year of simplifying.  Its a very long story, and one I don't want to really go in to at the moment but just know that I am surrounded by many many things that are beyond overwhelming me.
Believe it or not I was born a neat freak.  At a very young age I could not go to sleep if things around me were not in the correct place and if I managed to sleep, I had nightmares.   I had a cleaning method that did not work for anyone else in my house.  As a child and even now, I do not have the capacity to look at a space and say  this item goes there even if there are other things in that space that DONT belong there.  When I was a kid, when I was sent to my room to "clean it up" the ONLY way I could ever make it work was to take everything and put it in the center of my floor and then systematically put everything back where it truly belonged.  In my head it was just the easiest way to do things.  After all how could you put something away in its place if something were already THERE?   Then you either move that other item over or you have to take it and put it where it goes, probably having to move the thing that is in ITS place, and on and on and on...... so just get it all empty and put things back where they belong at one time and get rid of what doesn't belong.  Does that make sense to anyone out there but me?

Anyway,  I have been doing a lot of thinking since I saw a video that a vlogger named Clutterbug does.  She mentioned that there are basically 4 different kinds of people.  One of them is the person who wants their things put away, have systems to take care of those things.  They can be either simple systems (one type of person) or more complex systems( another type of person) and you can want many things, or few things, you can want to see your things or have them out of sight but know they are there.  I am struggling to figure out what type of person I am and I am thinking that I like a lot of things... I don't care if they are in eye site or not as long as I have a system to care for them and know where they are when I need them.

So this brings on 2018.  I have got to find some systems and simplification in the worlds that I live in.  I can ONLY control me and my stuff but I have to find away to do that and ignore the rest.  I believe that part of my issue is that I find no margains for rest in my worlds because I spend all my time trying to find balance and organization and then fall exhausted into bed, have nightmares about chaos and wake up to struggle my way out of bed and do it again.
Boy I am going to have to go back and edit this because all I am doing is whining......

So step one in this year is in connection to working on The 7 Experiment by Jen Hatmaker deeply this time, I have a friend who has volunteered to help me organize the kitchen here right off the bat.  She suggested that I take before photos so that we can also do after photos and make me feel much better.  So here are the photos that I took today.  I had already started to pull things out of cabinets. (again at her suggestion to have an idea of what I am keeping and what needs to go to bless someone else or is just flat trash)  And we had made a quick trip to the grocery store to get supplies for dinner today. I'm
justifying completely and not counting this trip as it is not the meal I am cooking that we shopped for but the one Jonathan is cooking... My less than 7 starts tomorrow.  Don't judge me.. Well Judge me if you want but don't expect me to care on this one.

My friend also reminded me that since this is not truly MY kitchen, I am not responsible for 60 years worth of collection.  I think that my brain just is combining my real kitchen, with this one and seeing double the amount of things that will eventually have to be decided about.  But take a breath... Don't judge yourself based on things you truly have no control over and just put one foot in front of the other until this is done.. it wont be completed today, or next week, or even the week after.  The goal is to have things under control by the end of 2018.. and that is 364 from now.  One of my daughters would tell me to eat that elephant one bite at a time... My other daughter would tell me, Just do the next thing.  Both of those set of wise words involve Don't look at the whole picture at this moment.
so the WHOLE PICTURE starts here:

Friday, July 8, 2016

I need a title

I need help coming up with a title for this photo.  I'm going for something involving a man leading another man  across the bridge into fatherhood. 

Wednesday, June 22, 2016

Remodel 6/22/16

I didn't get to far today as I really just HAD to do some of my regular office work for a change.
 Got this far on the wall today..... 2 more walls to go... floor and ceiling. 

 Part of what we are decorating around. 
 What my shoes and legs look like now.   and Journey... our center piece and focal point. 

Remodeling is very hard work

I have been planning a remodel of our office space for a long time.  The idea has changed repeatedly over the several years I have wanted to do this.  Because of the "final design" I am glad that I didn't do it to start with as my final has changed considerably. 

We got advice from several people who do this either for a living or just have a great deal of knowledge on the subject and all assured us that this was a project that was really no big deal as projects go.  I believed them.      We can get in there and do this in a long weekend, they said.... hahaha and I believed them.  

But, I guess considering that we really only have rudimentary knowledge of what we are doing and youtube videos we aren't doing too badly.  The people who have looked at it so far have told us we are doing a great job.  (The professional and knowledgeable people, not just random people.0)

Here are shots of so far......

Update at the end of today HOPEFULLY will include finished north wall.. (the blue one in this last shot)  primer and maybe first coat on east wall... and all the trash in the room cleaned up so that after the north wall is done I can tear down ceiling tile and scrape up the floor to be ready to put down floor by the weekend.  I'm going to be really, really proud of myself when I get this done!!!  If I can keep this 50 something body moving long enough to do it.  Wish me luck

Saturday, May 14, 2016

Im Not OK and I hope that is OK

Something happened this week that I was not prepared for. Well, two things happened that I wasn't prepared for.  The first one was loosing another friend and mentor.  The second one of them was not being prepared, or at the very least, making it appear to the outside world that I was prepared. 
I have spent most of my life being prepared.
Believe it or not, my calling in life is to be a cheerleader.  Yeah, I know I am so not a cheerleader. 
I have done the best I can to make sure everyone around me was OK. 
What are your hopes and dreams? What's on your bucket list?  I will do my best to make sure you do or have all of those things that matter to you so much.  Just tell me what those things are, and I am ON IT.
I have tried to support people through many toils and trials of life.  I have tried to help find answers, and make viable plans and generally figure things out.

I have been prepared to help people through transitions of life, anywhere from moving to the next grade, through graduation, through people being mean, or failing to understand.
I have tried to help those around me cope with the loss of a parent, grand parent, best friend, place to live, job, no matter how close I personally was to any of those things, myself, their feelings and reactions came first. 
I have tried to be that ROCK during health crises, and career changes, and business transitions no matter what was in my own head and heart. 
I reassure people that life is going to go on one way or another, and that is ok. 

Before you say anything, don't get me wrong, none of this applies to technology or learning new processes for myself.  Yes I know I whine and cry and freak out when I don't know how to do something immediately, but I try to help YOU believe that even if I cant do it YOU CAN!!!!!
And I freak out because something has come up that I wasn't prepared for and I'm not good at not being prepared.

What I am talking about is all those relationship kind of things and self esteem and belief in the world around you kind of things. 

Maybe, I'm just tired, maybe its 2 funeral in a week, maybe its life that finally caught up on me. I've never in my life said I cant deal with your stuff right now because I cant cope with it. Give me a break.  So, believe me, this is really not easy in any way.

But recently, out of the blue, I had to realize that I have hit the end of an era, the turning a page.  The End.

This loss, even though he was not in any way related, I didn't spend that much time with him, has switched on something that I'm not sure is good. 

Today, a part of my world ended.  Or at least I REALIZED that it was at an end. 

I have been on people around me the last few days to decide what they want out of life.  I have told them over and over that even though I make a lot of decisions and just offer them out there, this is one decision that I cannot make for anyone else.  But, I also have a few decisions to make.  This one particular area of my world, has come to an end.  It can either start over, or just go away, but it will not be the same. For me, this business, not like the other business,  its just a part of the business, it isn't a way of life, the way it was for them.  I will have employees to do the job, for them, it was part of who they were.  All of my mentors and those I relied on to teach me are gone.  And I'm not OK with that. 

Nope, today, believe it or not, I'm not OK.  So before I inflict anymore of my NOT OKness on anyone else around me I am going to change my course, take a Sabbath, hide in a closet or maybe under the bed.
Normally, my Not ok times are limited to locking my self in the bathroom for 20-30 minutes to cry in the shower where no one notices or I just limit my exposure to people so I don't take up anyone else's time by being out of sorts. But today, My phone is off, Facebook is not on my computer (except for posting this) the doors are locked, the lights are already turned off in the front of my house and I am going to take the advice of an Antebellum Southern Lady,  I am "taking to my bed".  My dogs are all 4 on the bed snuggled up with me, I have a book in my hand and an Italian soda on the night stand. I have that pile of really soft tissues beside me that we brought home from our most recent hospital stay, sorry they may be all gone soon, and I am just going to hide for awhile. 

No one needs to check on me, or sit with me or in any other way be around, I am fine.  I wouldn't even know what to do with that. 

Monday morning at 5 am when the alarm goes off, I will be back on deck.  I will be the "ME" everyone else expects me to be, but for the rest of today, and tomorrow I am going to not be OK.

Friday, May 6, 2016

Wedding Vows with a Twist

The original wedding vows, as printed in The Book of Common Prayer, start out with:
Groom: I,____, take thee,_____, to be my wedded Wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death us do part, according to God's holy ordinance; and thereto I plight thee my troth.
Bride: I,_____, take thee,_____, to be my wedded Husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love, cherish, and to obey, till death us do part, according to God's holy ordinance; and thereto I give thee my troth.

Today, I was at the funeral of my Uncle Jack.  It was a military funeral to honor his time in the US Navy during the Korean Conflict.   I knew most of what I would participate in at that portion of the service.  I was prepared for the flag ceremony, I was prepared for the gun salute, I was expecting the beautiful and kind words.  What caught me off guard and really made me think was the reading of a portion of the wedding vows.  At a funeral? 

But after the explanation, it made perfect sense in a way that I had never thought before.  I just wanted to share this idea with you.  Tell me what YOU think about this idea. 

The Groom goes first.  I Jesus Christ,  take thee,  fill in your own name,  to be my Bride, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and cherish, till death do us part, according to God's holy ordinance: and thereto I give thee my troth. 

Then His Bride answers:

I, Sherry, take the, Jesus Christ, to be my wedded Husband (and Lord and Savior), to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, to love, cherish, and to obey, till death do us part, according to God's holy ordinance; and thereto I give thee my troth.

If you put your own name in there and think:  I pledge my life to You, my Lord and Savior, for you to have and to hold when I am at my best or worst, no matter if I am rich or poor, when I am in ill health or the best, I will love You, and believe in your love for me.  I will cherish our relationship until death we do part, (which is impossible as You are God, and you give Me Eternal Life with you)  according to God's holy ordinance as written in His word; and thereto I give You my pledge. 

Have you pronounced your Vow as part of the Bride of Christ?  Would you take your vow this seriously?  It IS that serious.