Needs, Wants and Desires session 2

Moving on to wants in life. 

That which is needed or desired; a thing of which the loss is felt; what is not possessed, and is necessary for use or pleasure

 Another answer: a "want" refers to something that you would prefer to have, what you see as a good rather than a bad. A "need" refers to something that is absolutely necessary to your health (both physical and mental). You may not want to eat salt or take insulin (if you have diabetes), but they are necessary to your health.


Many people have a hard time figuring out what things are wants and what are needs.  I find it sometimes hard to decide as well, so I am working on it. 

Take food for example.  Food is definitely a need.  We MUST have food for survival.  Ice Cream is food, right?  But it truly is not necessary for survival. I also am lactose intolerant so milk products are NOT good for me.     We MUST have food for survival and pizza is food.. but a steady diet of it could be instramental in the downfall of my husbands and my sons health, well honestly any of our health.    We MUST have food for survival, but filet mignon is very expensive, so is that really a necessity?   So that brings me to believe that the best food for our health, that each of us can afford by what ever means we can get it.. be it by purchase, barter or growing our own Is a necessity, Dessert, exotic food and  what ever goes beyond the basic food groups at amounts that are healthy for us is a WANT.  If we take a look in my cabinets, refrigerator, and freezer.  My needs for food are very much covered.  I am blessed greatly with the lessons I have been taught by my mother, grandmother, a home ec teacher of 1929 that taught my grandmother how to manage a home, and many cookbooks, cooking shows and all that has given me a great interest in methods of preparing food for those I love.  I truly believe that preparing food is a show of love for those you prepare it for.  As for wants involving food, Cookies, ice cream, strawberry shortcake, shrimp, lobster, star fruit... while food.. are all wants in this area of the country. 

Looking at these things a little out of order from yesterday.  Next I will look at housing.  When I listened to stories over the years told to my by my grandparents and parents and other relatives and from one of the school districts I taught in, I learned a great deal about housing.  We live in a day and age that for the most part believes that we either should not have more children than we have individual bedrooms for, OR we should have a house with as many bedrooms as we want to have children.  When my older kids were growing up and had to always share a room with at least one other person, I told them I was preparing them for life.  Either in college or in married life, they were GOING to have to share a bedroom with another person and the earlier they learned to do it, the better it would be for them.  My father spent many years in his life sleeping on the screened in porch, or even in an old car in the yard.  We had a friend in the mountains who spent several years sleeping in an Indian TeePee by choice in the mountains.  So, my point is that in a living situation, we NEED a sleeping area, a cooking area, a community area, and an area for hygiene.  In many cultures those things take place in very very small areas and those people are oddly happy.  This brings us to my house.  I have all of those areas in the house I live in.  I have all the needs involved in housing.  I have a roof, all the areas, and even more.  I have a yard that I can grow food in.  I have storage areas for the abundance of stuff filling this house.  The house belonged to my grandparents before it belonged to us so it is still full of memories both concrete and remembered. 
Wants for my house would include mowing the lawn, putting away all the stuff outside that needs a new home, a clean house where things got put away when people were finished with them.  A paint job on the outside might be nice sometime.  I really dislike the paneling in the kitchen so painting over that would be awesome at some point too.  Oh I saw a penny floor that looked like fun.  I WANT something like that on the floor in the kitchen.  Taking the carpet out of the master bedroom might be fun and healthy at some point as well too.  OH, I really thought when we moved in here that I could see some fun landscaping and design of a patio in the back that would make us able to have office parties for hubby here at our house.  If none of those things ever happen will it upset me?  Nope, not really because I have my NEEDS for housing met. 

Hummm, now what about clothing.  Yep, got all I need on that score too.  Do I need shoes?  yes, especially around here with all the goat heads and the excessive heat.  HOWEVER, I had a friend once who had 320 pair of shoes.  That definitely takes shoes from the relm of need to the relm of want.  When the kids were smaller and we had 7 of them, just to maintain my laundry, I had 10 changes of every day clothes for each child.  2-3 "dressy" outfits, 2 pair of pajamas for each season, and the appropriate shoes, socks, underwear, and outerwear.  I have pretty much maintained that same rule for myself even though as a woman, I have way too many things in my closet that I never wear because I either really dont like those things, or they dont fit anymore but Im sure that someday they will.  My primary wardrobe is jeans and teeshirts.  That makes them easy to mix and match at least and I counted up and I think I have 7 pair of shoes. What in the world of clothing and such are wants?   Diamond jewelery, $400.00 purses, I cant even tell you fancy designers of shoes and clothing anymore, but those are definitely wants. 

The truth of wants is what was said at the top.  Wants generally apply to pleasure, not something that cant be lived with out. 

This is how wants and needs get confused in this current world.  Cell phones, I pads, and cable tv really are not needs. No matter how the world around us tries to convince us otherwise. 

We live in the age of the "Bucket List"  The things that many people feel MUST be done, before ew die.  I have SO many questions about bucket lists.. that start with what do you do if you accomplish all the things on your list and its not time for you to die?  Question 2, what do you do if you get close enough to death to know you arent going to be able to achieve all the things on your list.  Question 3.  What if you dont HAVE a list?   I have more questions about this topic but I wont address them at this time.   My main pervading answer to all the questions is that all of the items that go on any such list, are WANTS anyway.  Wants, for me anyway, are just that, things that might be fun but wont kill me or even make me cry if I never see them happen. 
I think it might be time to list a few more of the things I might want:
Books to read.  I love to read books
New kitchen cabinets and floor.
Refinish the hardwood floors in the front part of our house. 
A stereo system of some sort through out my house that I can listen to the music I want to listen to when no one is home or that I can have on only in certain rooms that I am working in. 
A clean, neat house.
To ride my horses once in a while.
A garage that we could put exercise equipment in for the family to use.
A tutle habitat in my back yard.
I want a new sewing machine and the time to use it. 
I want to scrapbook.
I want to do fun crafts with much of the stuff sitting around that was my grandparents belongings, to make momentos
to do SOMETHING amazing with my grandmothers cookbook.

What I have found to be true is that some wants, I have at least some control over, while OTHERS, I have very little control over. 

I also want my family to be happy and healthy . 
I want my youngest to WANT to do his school work to the very best of his ability.
I want kid 3 to finish his current projects and be able to get on with his life. 
I want us to all just want to hang out together and enjoy being in the presence of each other.

Here is what I have learned so far.  Needs are pretty much finite.  Wants can go on forever.  Needs MUST to some degree at least be met, Wants should not destroy you if they dont happen.