I sit- quietlyfrozen- watching cars go by.  There is diligance in the man hitting tennis ball after tennis ball.  I can barely see the sun setting beyond the trees.  How odd the lone palm tree seems towering about the mulberrys, the blooming yuccas, the chinese elm and the pine tree on either side.  It stands in complete silouette.  The Street lights are on for all the good they do. But, HEY, we can see the stars, right?  I feel kind of like that palm tree tonight.  No one to shelter me.  But I'm not enough to shelter those around me either.  I figured out tonight, that while attending therapy with my daughter, was not enough.  We got through the part where her therapist kept asking about different situations that were coming up..... What is the worst thing that could happen in this situation.  I believe now  that we got really good at coming up with worst case senarios but never got to the what to do about it part.  Im trying to go beyond the "WORST"  to what would I have to deal with IF that thing happened.  So far, there are not any good solutions.  Another big question that gets asked of me when I talk about things that are concerning me.... WHY do you let something like that bother you?  HEY, maybe its because I cant come up with any GOOD answers, have we thought of that?  Maybe its the lack of sleep that is getting to me.  Sleep is pretty elusive at the moment.  For one thing.. IF I go to sleep, I wake up very shortly with my heart pounding, and my gut twisting.  Then here comes one of those "THINGS" to be thought about. 
I figure tonight, 3 more loads of laundry to fold and put away, and 2 more to wash and I can try to hit the hay.